DANIEL AYANTOYE asks some Nigerians who they think is to blame for the prevalence of single parents
Okanlawon Durodola
Men should be blamed
The question mostly depends on what happened between couples before their separation. However, most times, men are to blame for their inability to handle women with care. Most men cannot accept half of what they do to women. The level of freedom men enjoy is far greater than what women do. For instance, a man can easily cheat and nothing will happen, but the same man cannot tolerate it if their wives cheat. When this happens, the man would send the woman packing, but he would not send himself packing if he was caught in the same act.
Eleshinnla Mubeenah
It’s difficult to blame the man or woman
When you talk about single motherhood or fatherhood, it is a state of nurturing a kid or kids alone without a spouse. Blaming either father or mother in this regard is somehow trickery because it is two-sided. It has to do with whether it is the man or woman who made the mistake in the relationship. In my opinion, in every situation like this, the blame of a mother crowns it all. No matter how pressurised or victimised a woman is in a marital relationship, she needs to endure and tolerate it. But when violence persists, which most people experience in their marriages, you see the woman pack out with her children.
Dr JohnBosco Chukwuorji
Some women prefer to be single mothers
It’s not only about blame anymore. An increasing number of mature single ladies are realising the need to have a child (or children) that will serve as social security for them in their old age. Such people who can afford to raise a child now give birth and become single mothers.
Emmanuella Williams
It’s wickedness to blame the woman
I was raised by a single mother, I have close friends who are single mothers, and I would also have become a single mother if my husband was able to make me a mother after he passed. Now, I get pissed whenever I see how much mockery single mothers have to face at the hands of people. Not forgetting that many of these mockers have aborted several pregnancies that they would have had as a blessing. If you ask me, I would say a responsible single mother is better than those self-acclaimed righteous people who secretly aborted several pregnancies. It is an act of wickedness to blame such women.
Owolabi Adebisi
I blame men
We need to recognise that relationships and marriage are something that can succeed if both parties can endure certain things. But where this is not happening, the home will eventually break. I think the man is to blame because we all know that all women are compulsory problems that all men can’t avoid, and since we know this, men need to apply wisdom in managing them.
Ambali Kudirat
It’s not nice to apportion blame
In situations that lead to single motherhood, it’s not nice to apportion blame to one gender or the other. It’s important to approach this issue with empathy and understanding rather than blame. There can be various reasons why someone becomes a single mother, and it’s more productive to focus on supporting and empowering single parents rather than placing blame. Each situation is unique, and it’s important to create a supportive environment for all individuals and families.
Olaire Femi
Men should take the blame
Many of our women today don’t love; they are just after someone who can pay the bills. Many well-to-do guys today don’t believe in love; they believe all women are after their money, and social media is not also helping matters as various information passes through it daily. Sometimes, I just pity the young men who have yet to get married because the mindset of most women in this generation is pitiful. On this matter, men are to blame. Some demonic men would appear as saints, deceiving ladies into marriage, but once the lady is pregnant, they disappear.
Adeosun Omolara
It’s two-sided
It is two-sided, and I say so because sometimes there are a lot of things that the woman may be going through that she has endured for a very long time but gets to the point that she has to quit and become a single mother because a woman should be a single mother and be alive for her children rather than allow a wifebeater husband to kill her. You can’t blame such a woman for choosing that. On the other hand, maybe it is the man who couldn’t find happiness with the woman he married. In a situation where a woman is not carrying out her responsibilities to the man and he is doing his responsibilities as a man, there is a tendency that they might separate and the woman would end up as a single mother, you won’t blame the man in such a situation. But the part of the woman is smaller than the man because some men don’t show their real colours when they are not yet rich, but the moment they have money they change their behaviour.
Odekola Olaide
Men and women are responsible
It is either the man’s or the woman’s fault, but one of the most common things is that some girls are not mature enough before getting pregnant and getting married, so when they are confronted with a little challenge, they leave with their child and become single mothers. That is a lack of patience and endurance. Some also lack home training. The background of the family of a man or woman is very important. For instance, if the woman is from a home where the mother has a bad attitude towards the father, there is a tendency that the girl may replicate this in her marriage, and you know some men will not take it. After several issues, she will pack out and become a single mother. On the part of the man, some men copy what their fathers did to their mothers and replicate such on their wives. Some men are drunkards and wife beaters. What you realise is that when they are beating their wives, one of their male children is taking note.
Yusuff Omowumi
No one should be blamed
I don’t think there is anyone who can be blamed between the man and the woman because before a woman can become a single mother, she would have passed through some difficulties. A lady can end up as a single mother if she is jobless because some men today are not ready to marry a woman who does not have a job, especially when the man does not have a good job. He may run away, and in such instances, the woman will end up taking care of the children alone. In some other cases where the man is not responsible for his responsibilities, the woman may decide to pack out and live alone with her children. Things are happening out there. Also, men need to be patient as well as women.