A Professor of Clinical Psychology at Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma, Henry Imonde, said building a personality based on selfishness is unhealthy and detrimental to personal and social growth.
He made the statement while delivering his inaugural lecture titled “How Are You? A Holistic Approach to Psychological Well-Being” in Ekpoma, Edo State.
In his address, Professor Imonde emphasised that a personality shaped by selfishness was bound to fail.
“Any personality built around a selfish style of life is unhealthy. An individual or group whose ideals and goals are centred solely on internal or personal gain is destined to fail and experience limited growth,” he said.
He explained that people’s need for one another fosters social interest—a sense of solidarity and connection with others.
“People with strong social interest strive for superiority in ways that benefit others’ psychological well-being. They aim to cooperate, not compete. They seek to build others up, not tear them down, and help others rediscover life satisfaction, not trouble.”
According to Imonde, this approach is key to building and enhancing psychological well-being, not only for oneself but also for those we lead and interact with, whether in the workplace, community or at home.
During his lecture, the professor shared that he initially considered the title “Life or Death: Mental Health…” for his inaugural lecture. However, after careful reflection from a psychological perspective, he realised that these two extremes—life and death—were not absolute.
Instead, various factors act as mediators, influencing whether one experiences life or death, depending on circumstances and divine intervention.
To support his view, Imonde referenced the ideas of Sigmund Freud, who theorised that life and death represented the two fundamental forces driving human behaviour—Eros (the life instinct) and Thanatos (the death instinct). Imonde explained that for Freud, life was symbolised by man’s pursuit of enjoyment, often expressed through sexual urges and activities, while the wish for death manifested in aggressive behaviours.
“Life and death, according to Freud, epitomize the full range of human experience cognition, emotion, and behaviour.
“If you indulge in happiness and pleasure, such as sexual enjoyment, you desire to live.”
However, the professor pointed out that aggressive behaviours reflect the opposite, an unconscious wish to die.
“Ultimately, the life of every individual revolves around these two extremes. “But the choice is ours to make.”
With over 22 years of experience in the field of psychology, Imonde concluded that while these two extremes sexual pleasure and aggression—may symbolise life and death, environmental factors, personality traits, and physiological makeup played a significant role in determining, which path we take.
“Our psychological well-being, influenced by our locus of control and personality traits, greatly affects whether we choose life or death,” he said.
Imonde stressed that whether in the workplace, family, community, health, or even disability, one’s psychological well-being is shaped by a combination of personality, physiological, and environmental factors. “If we fail to nurture our psychological well-being, we are more likely to adopt aggressive behaviours, which leads us down the path to death,” he warned.
However, he offered a more hopeful message: “Happiness and the choice to live a fulfilling life are always possible. Often, this is initiated by a simple question from those around you: ‘How are you?’ and the positive relationships that flow from genuinely caring about others.”
Professor Imonde’s lecture underscored the importance of a holistic approach to psychological well-being, and he concluded by urging the audience to reflect on the significance of the question, “How are you?”
He challenged everyone to ask it sincerely, with a genuine concern for the mental and emotional health of others.
“In asking ‘How are you?’ do we truly care about the psychological well-being of others?” Imonde asked.
“It’s a simple question, but its answer has profound implications for our lives and those around us.”