VICTORIA ADENEKAN asked some members of the public their views on whether or not it is appropriate for parents to have a favourite child
It’s natural but shouldn’t be obvious
Mrs Akinsunmade Blessing
It’s natural to have a favourite child. I’m sure most people have a favourite parent, uncle, cousin, etc., and you couldn’t control it even if you wanted to. That doesn’t mean we love others any less but I think that’s the way it is. In my opinion, you can love all your children the same way but still have a favourite. What is wrong, however, is making it obvious, which could affect the others emotionally. I think it’s extremely cruel for any parent to show it. You may have a favourite but you have to care for them fairly and appropriately.
There might be a good reason to have a favourite child
Mr Jubril Adebayo
The bitter truth is that my dad had his favourite child amongst us and his reasons were best known to him. At a time, I believe he just wanted a child who would be so diligent for greater returns. On the other hand, my mum treated and raised us equally and that’s why I cherish her so much even when she’s no more. I believe my dad and mum have their reasons for making such decisions.
It might create rivalry and enmity
Mrs Folashade Oderinde
There is no crime in having a favourite child, but don’t make it obvious to other children so as not to trigger rivalry and enmity among your children. Take Joseph in the Bible as an example, it was obvious to Joseph’s siblings the love his father had towards him and that was why they planned evil against him. If you can’t keep your favouritism from your children, it is better you don’t have one.
It’s human nature
Mr Lanre Aroba
I believe it’s wrong to have a favourite child, but human nature makes us to do just that. No child should ever feel that they are not loved as much as their siblings; else it would be wrong. You can love your children differently but you shouldn’t love one less than the other. In essence, it is not okay to show favouritism for one child. This is something your children will always remember; it serves no purpose to tell or show them this. The consequence would always be a feeling of hurt and resentment on the part of the other children. We all have a child we like better than the others if we have more than one child, but no child should feel less loved and it must not be open to others that one is loved more than others.
It can affect the favourite child
Mrs Onyezia Frances
Talking from experience, it is not good for parents to have a favourite child, it affected me so much. My elder brother gave me the beating of my life while growing up because he said my pocket money was always more than his so he would beat me at any slight opportunity he got. Why? He said our father loved me more than him, but my mum didn’t joke with him too. It’s now that I can sit with my mum to have casual conversations with her; I couldn’t do that before because we didn’t have anything to talk about, whereas if you left her with my younger sister they would chat very well, likewise my dad and me.
Don’t make it obvious
Mr Adeleke Adenugba
Parents can have a favourite child but making it obvious can be dangerous. If such a parent makes it obvious, it may not be too good for both the favourite one and the one that is not so favoured. Hatred can spring up among them and they may hate one another and that could continue till they are grown up if care is not taken. It might even be extended to their children. The favourite one could end up being badly behaved because they know they have the parent(s) support while the other ones could become stubborn and evil.
It can cause harm to the children
Mrs Tokunbo Maria
In as much as it is not good, I found out that in our society today most parents usually have a favourite child. Sometimes, it could be the last child of the family that is favoured over the older ones, it could be the middle child or even the first child being favoured over the others. We also have parents having preference for certain children over the stepchildren. Also, in a patriarchal setting, male children are favoured over female children; we all see this happening in our society. All these come with the attendant effect. Once parents favour a particular child over others, it affects the one that is favoured and the one that is not favoured. The favoured ones tend to leverage that advantage and even misbehave because they derive more attention. The other ones might try to stir up rivalry amongst themselves as a way of craving for attention and they can harm the favourite one.
Children should be loved equally
Mr Felix Alabi
I think all children should be loved equally, they should enjoy equal rights in the house irrespective of being the elderly one or the younger one. As long as they are from both parents, they should be loved equally. But the truth is, when you have two children, for instance, there might be some situations that could make you have preference for one over the other perhaps because of their comportment in the house, their academic performance and the like. Of course, parents will always love the smart one, like the one that can do things with little or no supervision. I believe if parents groom their children properly, all of them will turn out good and they will all exhibit likeable traits.
It’s good but should not be disclosed
Mrs Busayo Abosede
Majority of our parents have a favourite child; I know examples of some of them around but it is not a good idea to make it obvious to other children. It might lead to issues of hate among other children; they might even harm the favoured child. Also, the other children might start segregating themselves and the favourite child could misbehave because the child knows they have the parent(s) support. It’s good but parents must not disclose that.
Not a good idea
Mr Emmanuel Olamide
In my opinion, it is not a good idea for parents to have a favourite child. It is not okay to show blatant favouritism for one child. When you have a favourite child and you make it obvious, it is something your children will always remember. Even, if you must have a favourite child, don’t show it to the favourite child and to the remaining children so you don’t create enmity and lasting hatred between them.
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