Our correspondent asked some couples if they would require their relations to seek permission before they visit them
It depends on our relationship
Mrs Veronica Ononye
It depends on my relationship with my relatives; it depends on how close we are. If I want to visit my sisters, I don’t need to tell them, when they see me they will be happy to have me around and vice versa. Some of my relatives seek my permission before visiting and that might be because we are not close or probably how they were trained or they won’t like it when I visit without their permission. I don’t have a problem with my relatives visiting without my permission. My children also visit some of my relatives at any time. If any of my relatives that I am not close to visit me without my permission, I won’t be angry, I will just be surprised to see the person.
They need to call me
Mr Lanre Arobasalu
I set boundaries between my family and me. They can’t just visit without my permission. For instance, you need to call before entering the estate gate of where I live irrespective of who you are to any of the residents. If there is no permit; then there is no entry. They have to inform me if they are coming for a visit, but if they have a tangible reason for visiting without informing me I won’t be angry at them. For instance, if the person is coming from a long journey and it’s getting dark, my house might be the closest so he or she can decide to visit without informing me. Though I don’t like that but I can’t let the person sleep outside because he or she didn’t inform me.
They need my permission
Mrs Oluyomi Oluwabunmi
My family has to tell me before they come to visit. My husband and I might not be at home then. My mother, mother-in-law, even my siblings or my husband’s siblings do tell me before they visit and that’s the right thing to do so that we can prepare for their visit. There is nothing I can do if my mum or my mother-in-law visits without informing me first, but if other relatives didn’t inform me I would be angry at first but later I would accept them. I can’t pursue them, they are my family. They will have to manage what we have with us, but if we have enough at home, there will be no problem.
Permission needed because of my privacy
Mr Segun Praze
I can’t allow my relatives to visit me without my permission. I have my own life to live. At that time, I might not want anyone to visit due to my own personal reasons. If the person calls to ask for my permission I can just give the person an excuse so the person won’t feel offended that I don’t want anyone to visit. What if I’m not around and any one of them comes visiting without telling me, it can be disappointing, some might not be able to return to where they come from that same day and that might leave them stranded. It is better they inform me than to be stranded or be disappointed.
I would welcome them but be annoyed
Mrs Oluwatoyin Odumosu
It depends; my family does not need my permission before visiting me but it depends on if I don’t want to see a particular person or set of people at the time, so I will want them to let me know before coming. Relatives that are not closer to me need my permission before visiting me. It might have been a long time since we talked; the person can’t just visit without letting me know. If I don’t want to see a particular person and the person comes to visit without my permission, I will be annoyed at first but I can’t send the person away. The person can visit and go but not stay for a long time.
They have to notify me ahead
Mr Bakare Tomiwa
If any of my relatives is coming, he or she needs to notify me ahead before coming. It entails some things. For instance, we need to prepare a place for him or her to stay and be comfortable. The food at home might not be enough for an extra mouth at that moment and I might not be financially buoyant.I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I won’t send them away if they visit, rather I will look for solutions with my wife and we will make sure the visitor is comfortable. If it’s a relative I am close to, he or she will understand.
They must tell me before they visit
Mrs Temitope Ogunnaike
My relatives need my permission before they visit me. The reason being that I may not be too available to attend to them, I might travel for businesses or other function. If they visit and I’m not around, my husband will be at home to take care of them but if my husband is not at home, they will have to go and next time they will inform me before visiting. More so, I may not be buoyant enough to take care of their needs at that moment. One can manage what one has alone but not with a third party. We can’t take care of them when we don’t has enough but it depends on who visits. Some of our relatives are not really close to us so they won’t understand but if it’s someone that is close to my family he or she may understand the situation at that moment. I strongly say they must tell me before they visit. I don’t want them to go through stress.
Some relatives won’t need my permission
Mr Lukman Badmus
My relatives that live close to my area don’t need permission to come but if the ones that are far from me like those that live in Ibadan, Oyo State, they need permission to visit, the reason being that the work I do takes a lot of my time and I travel almost every time so it’s not possible for the person that wants to visit me to meet me at home without informing me that he or she is coming. If my mum wants to visit me, she will call me to tell me beforehand. If I won’t be around my wife will take care of her. We are in the computer age, they can inform me on the phone and I will tell them when to come.
It’s better I’m informed ahead
Mrs Busayo Ajayi
Yes, I would like them to ask for my permission before coming due to how things are now; more so we are at an advanced age. It was in the past, they would visit their relatives without their permission. These days, one needs to inform the person they want to visit. This economy is affecting us these days, I might be broke when the person visits and he or she may not understand. To avoid that, it is better I’m informed before visiting and I might not give the go-ahead for the person. For proper arrangement or preparation for such relatives, it’s important to take permission before visiting. We can quickly make some arrangements if the person visits without permission but it won’t be like when I was informed before the visit.
It’s important they call me
Mr Fatai Isa
It is important they call first before coming because they don’t know if I would be around or not. They also don’t know my condition at that time or the situation my house is in. They must inform me before they visit and I will tell them if they can come or when I will be around and if I won’t be around my wife can entertain them till I get back.
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